Where to begin?

The first step in any process is to start. Just one step forward, even if it happens to be the wrong direction, that knowledge is worth the risk. Every first step looks different, some are scary, some are exciting, and some are just boring.

So which of those is this? And what exactly is this?

Well, this is a blog and to be honest I’m not sure what it is about quite yet. So yes, it is scary but more just… uncertain.

I already hear you… Why does this dude think he can write a blog anyone is interested in when he’s not even sure what it is? Well, I don't. Not yet. But I will one day, I have faith in that. So my solace as I venture forward into this blogging world is just this:

No one will be reading this.

Okay, maybe three people. My Mom, my Dad, and my CIA agent. The trifecta.

I lied earlier, I do know what this blog will be about, but I just don't know the details. Here is the gist of it. I am blessed to have a clear few next steps in my life goals, but more on them later. One step at a time remember? Well, this is step one. Documentation.

With this blessing is a curse, and before I get carried away it is a self-inflicted curse. Or maybe not self-inflicted, but self-perpetuated for sure. The curse is a simple one. Anything I feel like I should be doing… I don’t. I find a reason, or make a reason to not do it. When I do manage to make some progress it feels like the one time in middle school I rolled down a hill only to find that the ENTIRE hill was coated in stickers. Well, it was exciting for a mere second or two, followed by my immense pain as for about an hour of my friend pulled stickers out of my back while I worked on my chest and legs. And then recovery for the next few days. I found little slivers of sticker in me for about a week.

That may be dramatic, but it feels this way. When I work on a project, be it woodworking, organizing or studying I get excited for a few brief moments followed by a wall of “pain”. Distractions, boredom, interest in something else, even other things that would be beneficial all find a way to grab onto my psyche and tell me I have done enough. That I should be doing something else. So I stop and recover and even if my intentions are to return I find little slivers of doubt and lies.

An example:

See if I want to do yoga, there is an instant barrier at the thought, BUT I have done yoga enough to see through the veil into the beauty and pleasure of the practice. But the veil remains… every damn time. But what If I want to go work on the shed? (More on this project later) Well that barrier is even thicker. Though I have built many sheds in my day, the veil was thin and money was behind it. In this case I have never built a shed for myself. I do foresee much good usage out of the shed as many of my planned projects will be built in there, but I have not been behind that veil yet so there is uncertainty, and the money is AWAY from me, not towards me. Such is the nature of investments.

Much of this blog will be documenting projects as I do them, with my thoughts as I go. Later ones will come with pictures and even videos. I will document myself learning and the mistakes I make. The other part of this blog will be documenting anything I think are the “Next steps” of my life and my adventure as I stumble my way down whatever path lies ahead. There will be failures, but there will be more victories. I know this only because NOT pursuing these things have been my greatest source of pain and shame. The victory is the pursuit, let the steps fall where they fall.

Okay, let's wrap this first entry up before I ramble on. Like I said, no one will really read this, so though I feel this entry is incomplete, its continuation is the next post. The last topic I'll address here is how often I will post these?

I have no idea, but thanks for checking in!